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These days, no internet access in hostel!!! ahh....havent contacted mum for soo long~ yesterday was the Chinese Curretn Affairs Competition... Our drama grp was supposed to act b4 the final round started, juz as some kind of relaxation..then juz after tt, our director said tt actually we had lots of probs -- the actors couldnt speak out loudly, and the audience couldnt hear clearly, so they were confused, then they said tt we were acting so fast, so at times they couldnt catch up w the plots...sigh... prepare for so long, and the response is still like this... and the director talked to me personally, saying very very seriously tt if i still couldnt raise my voice, the whole grp would suffer juz becoz of me, saying tt we prepare everyday juz to win the gold w honour prize, she doesnt want any one to act wrongly...by the time I heard this, I felt very very sad, and quite depressed...really...so many things to do, I am really tired...how could u expect someone who is extremely tired to stand up and be soooo active?? .. and I noe I have this problem of speaking out loudly, but could u pls juz kindly kindly talk abt this instead of scolding me?? I will definitely improve on my own and become better and better....I juz need some encouragement...
then later she also sent sms to me to reemphasize this...that was e time I broke down...

Crying and crying...but luckily han xiao later found me and listened to all my sad stories..then she tried to encourage me and tell me all the gd things that was going to happen soon~ then in the evening...trying to call ZN to talk abt things happening around me these days, juz like the way we usually did in the past..hehe, every week surely called each other to seek encouragement..but we only talked abt 10 secs...he said he was doing GPP for PW, then he was talking w me in ENGLISH!! ahh...this is not the way we used to do...really felt sad..didnt feel the sense of friendship at all.. hehe, maybe he was tooo busy...and maybe yesterday was not the right time to call him and let him listen to my stories...but...luckily, later I called CQ, then he was really..haha, very good at making others happy.. he kept singing qi li xiang, although a bit out of tune, its still very nice! he told me to take care, and face all the difficulties and challenges, coz "after all the cloudness, or rainy days, tmw will be full of sunshine~!" and really.. I felt much much better...

Thoughts of e day: Although we couldnt really depend absolutely on anybody to pursue happiness....they could help u a lot....or sadly speaking, they wont be free to listen to you...but what is important... is to have someone beside u when you need some encouragement. and FRIENDS, thank you~!

Thinking of talking to ZN this Friday abt how sad I felt after the short conversation w him? this is not they way we used to do.. There must be sth. wrong...

Cya!