I am back

Yup, I am back in S'pore alr!

haha..yup, today after I went for the service, I was realy refreshed and got ready for the coming new year.

Next year will be a very stressful year, but as long as i am prepared for it, things will get easy.

Today, the message is "change"..hmm...when change is necessary, not to change is destructive.

So from today onwards, make sum change in my life; study + relationship + emotional well-being + spiritual life.
yup, so lemme lead the change.

Get ready for the new year~

Gonna meet Z.N. tmw, seems that he is struggling to cope with his new hostel life.. hope that everything will be alrite~

wow~

haha..today I reached hostel abt 4 plus...and followed by endless packing, I cleaned the room~ ahh...my roommates ah.. they never cleaned their own areas....so since I am such a NICE person!!...I cleaned the whole room plus the toilet~ I literally did everything I could to make the room look brighter, and u couldnt imagine how many bags of rubbish I threw away today~ ahh...While I was cleaning the room, I began to think of myself as a housewife...then started daydreaming abt my future of being a housewife, staying in a big house, do nothing..haha...then after a while, I realized that a housewife's life will never be mine..luckily, I realized this at an early stage...well..I muz be an independent person, can earn lots of money for myself and my family...make them proud~

hmm...last weekend was really a tough time for me... I had a feeling of becoming sick last Friday, coz I found out that while I was drinking pure water, the water tasted very bitter...yup, this is a symptom of getting a flu~ aha...then on Sat and Sunday...I couldnt even speak in the morning...hehe..but thx God, everything turned out to be better and better...at least now I noe that I only have a flu, and I can SPEAK now~ haha..

Going home tonight~~ hahaz...well..got lots of things to say..but seems that I dont reali have enuf time liao...I reali miss home a lot...and luckily I am gonna see my parents in abt 16 hrs~

So cya frends in 20+ days~ and enjoy ur X'mas~

Hooray!

Hooray!! wow!! I juz spent abt 4 hours packing everything in my room....After watching my roomates spending 2 or 3 days packing her staff, I really felt proud of myself!! haha..thats called "efficiency"..

well..some staff put in big boxes, others put in my luggages to be carried back home..now I am sitting on one of the chairs, looking around, haha...not enirely an empty room, but to me..I subconsciously noe that almost every drawer now is empty! ya..I reali feel soooo accomplished! No one could imagine a gal would get soo high at abt 1a.m. in the morning!

oh maybe its because when I am packing, I feel that I am one step nearer to my home! hehe...all of my other roommates left for China abt 1 month ago, and for this 30+ days, maybe its because I could only stay at home for soo few days that I appreciate it sooo much...

Yup...having sth. to be looked forward to is always Great! It gives me hope almost in every area of my life!

Cheers!

Yup...today I went for Kbox with two close friends...ehh...How to say...I realized that different ppl really sing differently...haha..J.N. is really not bad at singing, but she juz got this little problem which I really couldnt tolerate at all...sori lah..To a "music person" like me, the tune muz be correct mah..haha..anyways..I gonna teach her the tunes for some songs, coz She's going to join MusicFest next yr! hehe..hope that she can get experinece from that lor~

Then we went to eat Carls' Jr (hope the spelling is correct)...a really nice lunch, especially after we got sooo tired and hungry after singing...After tt, we went for shopping..hahaz..J.N. and H.X. are really crazy abt cosmetics, and while I was looking at them, very blur abt wat they were doing, these two gals kept talking abt different brands...OMG! I realy saw stars while they used various terms! haha..maybe I can learn sth. from them from now on...anyways, I am also a gal! hehe..so should noe sum of this bah...

After I went back to hostel, Z.N. came as well, and then he treated me a dinner! ehh..I juz had a big burger at 3p.m. plus, and at 6 sth., I am going to eat a big dinner again!! Ahh...my weight!!! well..but having a treat is always a nice thing!

Later I went for Bible Study at the Riverwalk...ehh...ended dinner soo late, and took a taxi to go there..TRAFFIC JAM! I was sooo worried because I think I would miss most of the lesson alr..and..ya correct...by the time I went there, I juz sat there, stoned abt 10 mins, then it ended!!!! ehh...then I took abt 1 hr to go back..hehe...then kept packing until now...

so today, oh no, yesterday was really a rushing day~ But things are not that bad, are they? At least now when I started to think abt it, I noe wat I did and wat I had finished...hehe..yup, not bad not bad.

NTU research is going on well. Thank God~

Thats abt it..Feel tired now..gonna bathe and sleep sleep sleep...

=)

p.s.: I finally found out which song I was best at singing! yup...if next time I go kbox again, I will sing that song first! Surely can impress lots of ppl!! heehee..

ya!

haha..these days, I felt refreshed everyday.. yup...everyday is a new day...when u wake up in the morning and open your eyes, juz tell urself that today is gonna be exciting day, then it will be! hahaz...

Actually, last week I was always sooo depressed abt my poor time management skills..seems that I dint do much things, and time really flies...I felt reali bad abt this, sometimes complained a lot to my frends, magnifying watever problems I was having...my doubts started to overwhelm me...and I felt reali lost...

but but...after last Sat.'s service, I had this good feeling that I could start a new life again...hehe...yup, watever dream that has previously been killed by all kinds of funny reasons, lets juz pick the dream up once again, coz as long as I believe in Him, I can realize all my dream. Yup, it might be difficult, might be soooo arduous that dreamkillers can easily destroy everything...but its not impossible, yup, with God, everything is possible. To be more than a conquerer in life is not an easy task also, but its not impossible, so lemme refresh myself, restore my hope, go down this new path, and be a living tesimony for ppl to share~


So pouring out the bitterness inside our heart, and let Jesus stay inside forever and ever.

I like my life. Life has never been sooo wonderful~

Ten mores days to go

Ten more working days to go..
Ten more trips to NTU!

hehe...hope this research project will end successfully~

I wanna go back home...4th of Dec, looking forward to that day!

haha

haha... past week was a really tiring week.. I found out that doing experiment was actually okay, but its becoz Pu En and I took soo long to get to NTU and get back that we were sooo tired...

yup, today I had zaobao meeting in the afternoon...then went out with Z.N. to Orchard..he suddenly became sooo nice hah...yup, maybe knowing that I am now trying my very best to make a sacrifice, saving money for church, he decided to treat me nice food! haha..feel blessed! yup yup.. the desert was really fantastic~ haha..then he talked abt the difficulties he is facing now when he is trying to date with the gal, haha..then I gave sum suggestions..well.. I think he's gonna make it lah~ Should have sum experience de. I often feel quite good to talk to Z.N., coz he can always pinpoint to my weakness in dealing with certain kind of things, and gave me suggestions..well..sometimes the feeling was not that good lah..feel like being criticized..hehe...but I think good friends will always admonish each other, then progress along. Yup..I think thats my perception of a truly trustable friend.

then he went to watch movie....well.I am saving money now, so I dint go with him for the movie, I went back..36 bus was sooo crowdy..sigh..juz as I sat in the bus, wondering when I could reach hostel, I had this feeling that maybe next week, my NTU research attachment would be more relaxing..hehe.. and prayed for that on the bus.

Then when I went back to hostel, I received Pu En's SMS..haha..saying that Derrick is going to have sum exams, so need to prepare a lot of things, so actually the trip to NTU will start from this coming Thursday! Hooray!!! Finally have sum time to study SAT and related stuff, finally have sum time to relax a bit, recharge myself and be more excited over the project!

haha..so my prayer was answered..and recently I am praying for my mother's health, and 2day I received her message, saying that she is now feeling better and better..

You are awesome in this place, Mighty God.
You are awesome in this place, Abba Father.
I can do all things through You, who strengthens me always.

So lemme juz follow the holy spirit, and be a person that He wants me to do.

p.s.: Jay Chou's <蒲公英的约定> is sooo nice..
"与你聊不完的曾经,
而我已经分不清,
你是友情...还是错过的爱情."

woohoo.

So..these days..I have been undergoing a research project at NTU...its under YDSP, Young Defence Scientists Programme...hmm...I am actually trying to develop a gas sensor, which can detect poisonous gas and its percentage in a specific area, this is in the sense for military use.

hmm...well...althou going to NTU almost everyday from morning to evening is really a torturing experience...I still like this project~ My partner Pu En is soooo nice, as long as she is with me, I noe the task wont be that tough. My mentor...well..a ph.D student under a professor, is also a very approachable person!!!! He understands that so far, Pu En and I havent learnt lots of things abt chem, so he really taught us from the beginning to the end. A patient guy! haha...and when i am in NTU, I dont really feel uncomfortable...people are very friendly there!!! haha..so...well...altho the project is difficult, I am gonna continue!

These day, my class has this chalet thingy....4 days 3 nights at Aloha Resort..haha..I cant stay there overnight le...everyday I muz come back to hostel and manage sum research stuff...but I joined them yesterday evening for the Steamboat dinner..haha...its fantastic! We talked a lot and a lot, and almost the whole class stayed in the room, eating together. Miss Ding, Mr Lee, Mr Lim were all with us! I will miss that moment!

anyways..I hope there will be more and more class outings coming up next yr, althou by then we will be facing "A-levels"...next year I will try my best to join every class outing!

well..so thats abt it. Today is Public Holiday, I am now trying to look for sum Korean TV episodes to watch...heehee...I love them!

Enjoy!

oh..btw...I am reali looking forward to Jay Chou's new album!

If God is with you, nothing can be against you.

heehee

It has been a long time since last time I posted here.

while..not becoz I dint come here, its like I dont feel like writing any entries.

hmm...how to say...experiencing a drastic change in my life... I used to feel wierd about religion this kind of thingy...but guess wat...I am now a Christian!!!

well...actually not a sudden decision, I have thought about it for a long time alr, and this is really a decision that I made for myself... hmm..how to say... I wont regret this decision, and I have seen myself gradually changed over this one month..

I talked with my friends and classmates who are Christians, they were firstly shocked, never expecting I could turn into a Christian out of a sudden, but soon they hugged me, and congratted me! haha.. feel soo warm...

well..until now, I couldnt really find a reason why I chose Christianity, but deep inside, I know I belong to it.

Feel like encouraged again, coz You are always by my side.

"I want to care for others, juz like how You care for me"

Pray hard for those who are taking O-level and A-levels,
Pray hard for those who are on the final battlefield of PW
Pray hard for people who are struggling in relationship problems,
Pray hard for my parents, who have been missing me for such a long time,
Pray hard for myself...who wishes to be a blessing for people around.

From Vaishali.

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?

Saying something and wishing you hadn't?, or
Saying nothing and wishing you had?

I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be
afraid to tell someone you love them.

If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break
theirs.

Have you ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of
losing what you already had with that person?

Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.

You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own........when you
least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that
other person was too afraid to let you ?

Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too
much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at
all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of
rejection was too hard to handle?

We tell lies when we are afraid...
afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.
But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger .

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.

Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.

What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?
What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be
there?

What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to
tell them how you felt? ( even if it is that you don't care anymore)

What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't
have them?

What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with
all of my family and they know I love them?*

People live, but people die.
I want to tell you that you are a friend.

If you died tomorrow (God Forbid)
you would be in my heart.
Would I be in yours?


You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year,
don't talk that often the next, and don't want to talk at all the year
after that.

So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you
are special to me and you have made a difference in my life,

I look up to you, respect you, truly cherish you , most of all I CARE about
you!

Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close
you are...


Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you
never will.


Remember, everyone needs a friend someday you might feel like you have NO
FRIENDS at all, just remember this post and take comfort in knowing
somebody out there cares about you and always will..


p.s.: its true that sum friends come and sum friends go...but you will always have people who do care about you. 2day I got contact with a long long lost touch friend..haha...friendship renewed and grow stronger and stronger.

Tmw gonna get back my GP and PHYSICS...Good luck!

these days

These days I enjoyed myself a lot!!

hmm...quite relaxing, gave myself a break, and juz watch animations..

haha..and 2day I bought a table light, its soooo cool!! I love it!!

well..tmw is the Farewell assembly as well as open house preparation..

school going to start soon.. A new journey gonna begin~ Jiayous!

tmw last paper

well..finished 4 paper alr! tmw is the last paper!! woohoo!!

I have alr planned what I am going to do after exams, haha..life will be wonderful again!!!!

but b4 tt..there is one last subject, physics! hehe...my favourite subject, but lacks confidence, coz din do many exercises...but but juz try my best bah!

2day I am really disappointed at my chem lor...hehe...not enuf time..hopefully can get an A.

tmw..lets chiong for our "A"s!

p.s.: guess what Z.N. told me is really inspiring...yup yup...lets fight for this last battle!

All the best for everyone!

GP

I finished my GP 2day..
think that I have screwed it up again...

hehe... my compo was tooo irrelevant...compre was juz anyhow crap..

nvm lah...

thinking tt wat Joel said was correct...prepare for GP paper, is like waiting to die..doing GP paper is like experiencing the dying process...and now, after this paper, it is the forever peace of death..

haha..but I think after econs paper, i will be back from heaven..well...then life will be wonderful again!

Jiayous for all the frends!!

Music

<是非题> -- 范玮琪

每段故事都有一篇剧情
每段爱情都像动人旋律
一颗真心却只向着你前进
也许爱越单纯越着迷

你是窗外另外一片风景
在你眼里我是什么关系
你的呼吸藏在我的爱情里
何时能诚实面对自己

我们从不开口那个言语
那一句我爱你
永远像少了勇气
别人都说
我和你之间的关系
没有人相信只有关心

我们从不正视那个问题
那一些是非题
总让人伤透脑筋
我会期待
爱情盛开那一个黎明
一定会有美丽的爱情


Her music never disappointed me..and this one got great feeling!
wells...but the nicest of all..is still her very old song...<那些花儿>

Why its soo difficult to make frends happy?
Why they say they feel grossed?
Why so emo...

Frends

(:D) SMILE

(T-T) CRY

(>,<) ANGRY

('-') PROUD

(X_x) HUNGRY

(^-^) HAPPY

(?_?) CONFUSED

(-_-) SLEEP

"Fren, whatever u may feel, u r still dearly loved n treasured by me"


This is the sweetest sms tt I have ever received...haha..

well..these days..intensive mugging~ but I think i can still work harder.

Not much time left..so jiayou bah!

Teachers' day

Haha..teachers' day..
I bought very shiny paper and lots of stickers, and made my own teachers' day cards to all of my subject tutors. well..it took me nearly 1 hour for each card, and I made all of them until 3a.m.

haha..so 2day i passed these cards to my teachers..haha..and I am really happy to see their smiles~ well..sometimes it doesnt matter how much the gifts cost, but its the heart that matters..

hee hee...well.. I do believe that..since I came here, I was largely influenced by all of my teachers..and I couldnt achieve soo many things without all the great efforts of my teachers.

They are soo nice...and I really appreciate their efforts..

Thank all of u so much, my dearest teachers.

well..I believe that for all of my subjects, especially Econs and GP... there is still a long long way to do...but as promised, I will continue trying my very best~

Hope is always there.. yup, and as long as I try hard enuf, I will be able to see it!

....

Someone told me that when we are caring about others, it does not show whether we treat them as friends, because this action only shows that we are nice ppl. And if someone does anything which u appreciate a lot, that also doesnt necessarily mean that they treat u as friend, becoz it only shows they are nice.

well...I quite disagree with this point of view. To me, I only care about ppl whom I treat as friends. And for those ppl that I dont really care, I will still be nice to them. Hence, no matter they are friends or not, I will juz treat ppl as nicely as I could. But it is only friends that I will feel deeply sad when they are hurt, I will be happy if they have any gd news 2 share, and the saddest case is when my friends no longer need me to listen to their stories.

Everyone has his or her own definition of being nice. Hence, if anybody did anything that is quite bad to u, u really can not complain a lot, becoz they are juz not as nice as u expected them to be. So what is the solution??

hehe...maybe the best way u can do is to have a ping chang xin.. coz no matter wat happened, things will finally work out. Anyway, the world is like this..Everybody has his or her own personal concerns, so maybe we juz wait until our friends have solved their problems, then sooner or later they will come back to us...

Friendship will only sustain if we believe in the importance of it. Sometimes this belief takes time, and some enduring process also.

I always learn somethings from daily experiences. And I still believe that one day I will finally be able to manage any unexpected challenges in my life.

p.s.: Revision muz start soon! Tmr??

:)

WR Draft 1 feedback not bad not bad...at least no need any major changes, and structure is coherent! hmm... at least my efforts to outline the whole WR were acknowledged..haha! feel quite happy!

This week is finally over, lack of sleep, too much homework, all these make me feel liky dying...haha..but but at least I endure it! and become more stress-resistant! hooray~

Next week is Week 10...thinking of finish as many tutorials as possible, so next week can start some revision...

wells...always feel pissed off by ZW lor, watever he says doesnt make sense at all, play jokes on me, then laugh at his own jokes, wow!!! sooo interesting huh! >.< then ask me to do the whole PW section for him, do hw, write teachers'day card!! Hey! I am not a servant okay???? I dont like those China jokes, although I must admit that China indeed has soo many problems...The reason tt they speak dialects in front of me was to watch me look confused, then laugh at me coz I dont understand wat they are talking abt...haix..really dont noe how to comment abt them alr..

I noe they are juz joking only...but I think joking also has sum limits..

Hopefully the situation can be improved from now on..if not, next time when they want to borrow my tutorials, or go for grp studying, no way!

wow

haha...when was the last time tt I did blogging?? seems tt its been such a long time..

well..my blog is not dying...it is still alive!! and i promise I will treat it better and better from now on....wont abandon it~

these days feel quite depressing.. I am always quite confident abt myself..thinking tt no matter how busy I am, I will always be able to finish all my tasks,constantly improve my efficienty, and getting gd feedbacks as well.. but the results are juz not as expected..and I do feel tired..and I do get disappointed at what I did..finally realize sth. very important...although we always say tt sometimes we need to push ourselves, to force ourselves to do things, but we should never push too far...if it is really beyond my ultimate ability to finish everything in time, maybe I juz let myself have a deep breath...

classmates say that I am a cheerful person...haha..sometimes yes, sometimes no, I can always cheer up another person, when I myself was deeply sad...haha..When I was soo stressed, and really upset abt those incomplete things, I do hope tt people around me can really understand my difficulties and terrible situation, so that they noe that I am now at my limits already.. but but...sometimes the words that they say...really hurt.. well...at least they are not the ppl that I care, so didnt get hurt too much.. hmm...so try to bear with them and try my best to listen to them bah, watever tasks they give me...I will prove that I am able to finish them well...

feel that at times it is really difficult for me to make friends with other scholars...soo complicated.

haha.. but luckily through all these experiences, i can always learn sth. gd! I am an optimistic person~

well..this blog entry shouldnt be a sad one...so sum happy news to share with all or u..: These days... Got the highest GP essay score tt I have ever had...32/50...can go beyond 30 alr..its a gd sign! Hmm...got a first price in the national environmental science competition..this one and half year terrible project finally had a gd result..luckily my group didnt disappoint our teachers and mentors..

Although I am a free thinker, I always have this firm belief: if we do sth. gd to the environment,to the ppl around us, to raise funds for those less forunate ppl, or juz help an old lady pay a small amount of money, who didnt have enuf for the stuff she bought in the supermarket....in one way or another, we will noe that the things we did are worthing our efforts, and sooner or later..sth. gd will come to us.

我想超越这平凡的生活...就注定现在开始漂泊.

Ppl around me all recommended me to watch , saying tt it is a must-see movie, especially for those ppl who are pro. in playing the piano...hee hee..well..about the "pro." part i am not sure, but becoz I am iso nterested in playing that instrument, I muz go and watch it.

So 2day..hahaz..finally! Watch the movie with Z.S., we havent met each other for dont noe how long already, and 2day is actually for sum chitchating, we never expected to watch movie..hehe..I juz finished doing sum CIP in the afternoon, feeling tired..then after we met at Bedok Library, I saw ppl reading the critiques of the movie, then juz can not stop wondering about what the movie plot is like..haha..thx to Z.S., who immediately supported my random idea of going to Tempanies to watch movie instead of mugging..during the movie, we ate lots of things...so after tt, really so full, couldnt have dinner alr...so juz bought sum cheese cakes and bubble tea, then sat down and juz chitchat sum more..

hehe..abt the movie! Jay Chou never disappointed me...his movies, his piano skills, his music..everything was surprising me again and again...haha.. I really enjoyed the movie, and I believe this movie actually changed some of my views about love.

well...Heard tt his new album will be released next month..got 13 new songs inside..haha..cant wait to hear his wonderful music~

Next week is another busy week...got sum competition presentation, some results releasing as well as PW..ehh...

hehe..but luckily I figured out an important point..that is..no matter how difficult things seem to be, enuf endurance will finally make things work out...haha...juz give myself a try, and see how far I can strive..

Last week spent abt 4 hrs making a birthday gift, but unfortunately the one that received it had no reaction at all, not even a "thank u" kind of thingy..hurt my feeling lah... hehe...so juz hope that maybe some time later, maybe next week...my efforts can at least get acknowledged and maybe some change can occur...

well..back to PWing...

What I have learnt these days

Donna Lewis - At The Beginning

We were strangers, starting out on a journey
Never dreaming, what we’d have to go through
Now here we are, I’m suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected, what you did to my heart
When I lost hope, you were there to remind me
This is the start

And life is a road that I wanna keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I’ll be there when the world stops turning
I’ll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming, how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand, unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

And life is a road that I wanna keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I’ll be there when the world stops turning
I’ll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Knew there was somebody, somewhere
A new love in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I’ve been waiting so long
Nothing’s gonna tear us apart

And life is a road that I wanna keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I’ll be there when the world stops turning
I’ll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Yeah

Life is a road that I wanna keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep going on

Starting out on a journey

Life is a road that I wanna keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you


After the service leaning venture that I went thru during these one month...I met soo many frends from different schools, and we stayed 2gether, worked with each other, and finally we did a great job!!
Haha..yup..its only a beginning....and we are going to start out on a journey!
And no matter wat obstacles we are going to face....nothing is going to stop us from doing sth. gd for the society~

hehe

haha..juz realized that this blog is dying..haha..thx to MY's reminding!

hmm..how to say..my problem is finally solved and luckily that friendship can always find its way back to me...ZN and I after meeting went to watch movie, the Simpsons is soo funny! Well.. I think I really enjoy watching cartoons, watching these kind of movies will always make me relax! hahaz..so this time ZN and I talked a lot, but not any serious matters..well..I believe this thing no need to say it out le bah..juz let it go..and true frends no need to act so seriously bah...and wats more important is..after such a long time of mental struggle...I finally know my stand, and this will never change again...

So feel much better now...I think wat MY said is really true!! "Things will work out somehow.." Really appreciate his encouragement..It actually made a difference!

hehe..abt the problems that we might encounter about friendship rite...there is always a solution to that...Sometimes its because the change of ur own mindset, sometimes its the change in the other person's behaviour..but no matter which way...both sides will finally be happy..

Its really meaningful to have all these frendz around...yup....Friends are like stars, thou we dont always see them, we know they are always there....

True friends are never apart, maybe in distance, but not in heart.

Back to normal life... H3 maths starts next week, CCA busy busy...PW and all those academic work...
Hehe...after all these things, I can finally concentrate on what is important to me now...well..Life is always full of new situations..juz be ready to accept anything and try our very best to fulfill our goals...We wont be a loser, but a learner..

Jiayous!

Lyrics

<孤单心事〉

雨下在我窗前
玻璃也在留眼泪
街上的人都看起来
比我幸福一点

寂寞来自夜
还是最想要你陪
曾一起走过的夏天
我常常会梦见

我猜不到
你真正的感觉
思念变成
脸上的黑眼圈

有的时候我宁愿
你对我坏一点
无法停止幻想
我们之间的永远

爱你是孤单的心事
不懂你微笑的意思
只能像一颗向日葵
在夜里默默地坚持

爱你是孤单的心事
多希望你对我诚实
一直爱着你
用我自己的方式

我在你的心里
有没有一点特别
就怕你种种没发现
我还在你身边...

it has been a million years

well..seems tt I havent updated this blog for abt half a month alr...

hmm....quite busy...and maybe its post-exam period...
then feel like I still havent tried my very best to do things...and now no mood to tell about other things liao...so juz concentrate on my studies to prevent myself from thinking abt other things..
maybe now its time to hurry up and work harder and harder..

so....these days quite productive!!!

feel really busy...ahh!! maybe after this week....I will be freer...??

放心去飞，勇敢地去追，追以前我们未完成的梦...

Busy

This week will be a busy week..

woohoo! chem also got A.. 85/100! I am enrolled in chem olympiad training starting this week onwards...

Heard tt 80% of the cohort failed econs..
ehh...

Sum results

well...the results are a bit unexpected...

hahaz...

Maths got 99/100... I was totally shocked by this, so did all my other classmates..I never expected to get such a high mark, especially for mid-years..and now when I walk around in sch, there are always ppl saying congrats to me...ahh..Never had such a gd feeling b4...well..this might be an incentive for me...but I also feel nervous....wat if I dont do well in promos???..


Physics got 88/100...I expected to get 80 plus, but the results turned to be better..haha!


so far 2 As already...meet my target~ :D


2day saw Mr Lim, asked him abt my chem, he said I should get an A, but he forgot my mark..haha..if I got A for chem, then all the 3 science subjects, 3 As....expectation fulfilled!


well... let's imagine... maths 99, physics 88, chem 77...(possible.)...then econs 66 and GP 55....this sequence is nice!! haha..if I really can get 66 for econs, and 55 for GP, or the other way around... I will be very very very happy....but I noe that is not possible at all...ahh...


so juz hope that at least one of the humanity subjects can pass...at least ONE....


Considering taking maths H3 now..but sooo many ppl are taking it...should I join the majority? but if I dont, isnt it a waste?


Gd luck to everybody~


p.s.: Getting my determination back..! I am certainly not the smartest student, but I will work harder and harder..
p.s.p.s.: quoted from Tian Long's blog..(hahaz..hopefully he didnt notice this..)
.....梦想没有终点,只有不断坚持.....

After exams

I almost went outing everyday...hahaz...after exams, life is really much much better~

well...these days, I have experienced an emotional change...haha, thanks to C.Q., I feel better and better, and also thanks to his support for whatever decision I made..and I think I will never regret my choice...

Z.N. said tt he is always inspired by my great determination to success no matter how hard it is, but it seems tt he couldnt find this on me anymore..he said maybe I feel like there are soo many excellent students around both of us, and they study so well, and so competitive..and seems tt we will never catch up with them...all of them make me feel depressed...well..this is quite true..but I know one thing for sure..that is...I will never lose~ gonna find my determination back!

Today started doing tutorials, reading notes etc...and gonna start prepare TOEFL and SAT pretty soon...there is not enuf time to slack anymore..I think for the next few months, I will work harder~

mid-yr results are going to release soon....nervous~

finished reading a novel yesterday, and the following conversations made me feel touched:
"Have u told u abt the tension of opposites?"

"The tension of opposites?"

"Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do onething, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted......A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle."

"Sounds like a wrestling match"

"A wrestling match...Yes! U could describe life that way."

"hmm..So which side wins?"

"Love wins.. Love always wins."

haha...so love is the only rational act? Maybe...

Tmw will be the last paper, Chemistry!

So far...I think I would fail both GP and ECONS..I totally dint understand the whole questions!
and for physics.....noe tt I have got sum qns wrong....but should be able to get an A lor..

and maths....not as difficult as expected, but not that easy as well....hmm...Getting an A shouldnt be a prob.

so tmw is the last last paper!! yeah!!
Gonna realx, relax, and relax more after tmw's paper~

Back to revision for chem...later will finish last year's paper, and see how well I can do it~

All the best to myself and good luck to everyone else~
One more day to go...

p.s.: "L" is sooo cool!! Gonna watch DeathNote again after exams!

Exams

Timetable:

25-06-07 General Paper 8a.m. - 11 a.m. Aim: at least pass.
Economics 2p.m. - 4.45 p.m. Aim: B

26-06-07 Physics 8a.m. - 11 a.m. Aim: A

27-06-07 Mathematics 8a.m. - 11a.m. Aim: A

28-06-07 Chemistry 8a.m. - 11a.m. Aim: A

Mid-yr overall aim: 3A, 1B. + GP at least pass.

Jiayou jiayou jiayou!!!

Gd luck to myself and everyone else!!

4 more days to struggle~

ehh....

Wats the meaning of HOLIDAYS? its for fun, for relaxing, for outing and eating nice food!!! its not for mugging...ahh...I stayed in my room all day 2day, trying to finish the last few topics of chem and econs...hahaz..my revision pace not tt bad...at least finish maths and physics b4 Monday...and 2day..hooray! I finally finished reading the notes of chem and econs..

but but..its only my 1st revision...and I only finished reading the notes...there muz another round to go thru. all the past year questions, building up my confidence!

Heard from lots of seniors saying tt....this Mid-yr exams are the most difficult ones...and wats more...vj always has the toughest question to choose the best ppl qualifying for H3..this time sure die!! ahh!! Why I started to feel sooo nervous again?

okay....preparing to die....but die proudly! at last I prepared, so at least I think I wont fail....or wont fail so badly.. >.<

MUGGING...

plans after mid-year exams:
-- going out w frendz!
-- find a nice place for a hair cutting.
-- get a sushi buffet treat! hahaz.
-- Go to east coast park to learn cycling again~ this time, I muz noe how to balance~
-- Watch Movies.
-- Finish all the other tutorials after enuf rest...

and then... Wait patiently for the results...preparing for the worst...

hmm

I changed my blog video... from S.H.E...hehe...whenever I listen to my music, i will always remember the first time tt I heard the same song..well....I first listened this in China..abt 5 yrs ago...hehe...tt time life was soo fun!! and this song was really touching! Then I, 2gether with my 2 buddies in China, always sang this song 2gether...and b4 I went here, the last time I met them...we also sang this song, and cried....haha..promised to each other tt our friendship would last forever and ever...and we three ppl will be present in each other's wedding...

but now....they have finished their university admission exams....and I think both of them will go to top universities in China, but maybe will be very far apart...originally...i was supposd to fly back to China during this June holidays, and this might be my last chance to see them.. but I later changed my mind....coz I dont think i can concentrate on my studies in China lor..so I decided to stay here, and be a gd student~....so does it mean tt...for me, friendship is less important then studies??? .ehh....I juz had this idea when I was on the bus on the way back from doing CIP..hehe...this thought really made me feel quite....unexpected!...hmm...so maybe the next time i can meet them is after my "A"s...I will have a long time 2 stay in China, then can go from city to city to find them..and maybe by then, the three of us...once the best buddies in China..will have a lot to talk abt!

well...2day went to AMK to do CIP...asking ppl to donate money for the mentally disabled childen...a MINDS project...hehe...i once went to MINDS 2 see the children, and really..after tt, I felt so lucky tt I could go to sch. as a normal person, and could get relatively gd academic results..but for those children...its not tt they dont want to be gd, its like they don have the ability to be a normal student.....they are so less fortunate...so I think tt this time, I need to do sth. for them, even though by the time I signed up for this volunteering thing, the organizer already said tt this time there were no CIP hours given....hehe, but I still think this whole day was worthy!! although I could only collect very little money...well...but it will make a difference!!! collect abt $100 in total, so hopefully tt amount of money will help the children in one way or another..

feeling really tired after the CIP....It took me soo long to come back....and wats worse...I have a lot of topics to study at night...but there is nothing to complain~

So lemme go and get sum fruits to eat...then start my mugging 2day~!

p.s.: friends are coming back again..I miss C.Q. sooo much!!
Z.N. and I never contacted each other during this month...I am starting to feel insecure again...hmm...heard from sum rumours saying tt he got a gf since this Feb...hehe...well..although I dont believe its true, I still somehow admit this fact...but but.....does it mean tt becoz he has a gf, he will stop talking to any other gals, including sum gd frendz?? this is soooo wierd....

Dont think too much....Study!

Fight on!

Well..I think the most important lesson tt I learnt from this U.S. trip is....life is too short for us to live in others' dreams...so be responsbile for ourselves, seek more opportunities, and have PASSION in everything tt we wanna do well~! hmm...things will never get clear at the start, but it will be finally become clearer and clearer, as long as we believe that we can do it well~ I always think tt this kind of thing is like so cliche...but but...as I think abt it deeper and deeper, I found its really true!! Trust me, this belief will always make a difference~

well...originally thought tt the time is real limited for my mid-yr exam revisions..I wasted soo much time sleeping....ehh......but 2day, after I listed out all the topics to be revised, and made a timeline for myself..I found out tt it is not tt difficult..as long as I manage time well, and believe in myself~

he he..abt frendz who are now in China...some contacted me immediately after they reached home, feel really touching!!....while others juz disappeared..feel hurt!!nvm nvm...maybe they are tooo busy, and I am a bit too sensitive lah....anyways..no time to think abt them liao..muz start revision soon!!

well...time for a new start! Let me endure these 2 weeks, try my very best, and see what I can achieve for my exams~ Econs H3, I am coming!

只能像一棵向日葵，在夜里默默地坚持

My photos

community.webshots.com/user/summer0321

BACK

I am back liao..feel like sleeping all the time....ehhh....

Gonna mug for mid-yr soon..but I juz dont feel like mugging....how how how???

Muz need sum motivation to start the revision...let me find tt out asap!

Still uploading my pics on the web...I took lots and lots of photos!!

hehe..they will soon appear on my web album, so all of u can view it~

Feeling tired again....Haiz...gonna sleep soon~

so Cyaz!

woohoo!

The hotel lobby has a computer with internet access...So I can get online now, but only a short while, coz there are other ppl queuing as well~

haha..juz wanna say tt U.S. is such a nice place! I like it a lot!! Maybe I have have a chance to be here again next yr!

Stanford! This is the university tt I wanna study at!!! Its so cool!! The environment is soooo nice!!!

Did sum shopping 2day, and found tt the Nike clothes in U.S. are much nicer than those in S'pore and China...but quite expensive as well... >.<..

well...I bought so many things in Stanford, 3 sweaters all 2gether costed me $150 U.S. dollars! ...lead to a sad fact tt I didnt have much money already...but I think I will be able to enjoy de! anyways..if I am really short of money, I can always borrow! haha..so no worries lol!

Cyas!

b4 i go for the trip.

Gd news for 2day! haha...called Z.N abt sum reminders...and first time ever since this month..he started talking in Chinese w me, and with quite a good mood! haha...unbelievable! so he hoped tt I could enjoy the trip, and asked me to buy sum gifts for him lah..hmm...actually, there were more things tt I wanna talk with him..but no time liao...he was in a hurry...okay lah..he is gonna leave for China on the 2nd of June..so wont be able to see him until late June loh..haha..but its not a bad thing, isnt it? Let him go back and mug for exams, and I will stay here, study as well!! haha..luckily, I wont feel so lonely lah...hope tt after he comes back, everything will be normal...wish tt the friendship will last for a long time to come~

haha...actually there are a lot more things to write, abt things happened yesterday..but don feel like typing liao...anyways..dont think anybody will be interested in reading those... :D I will juz keep all these~!

the flight is at 9:15..but I am supposed to be at the airport by 630..haha..cant wait liao....don wanna sleep now...I think I will juz watch movies, and have a nap, maybe??

Soooo exciting!!

hmm....juz hope tt all my frendz will enjoy the holidays, muz take a gd rest!!! and dont miss me hor! coz I will be back soon!!
but I will surely miss all of u....so how??? haha...I have brought all ur photos with me, so in case I couldnt sleep in U.S., I will see all ur photos and hopefully will fall asleep soon!


well..why felt a bit sad now???? hehe....this might be the last entry b4 I go for the trip liao...wont update any more entries until 8th of June...hehe.. so cyaz!

What makes u happy 2day? An unexpected warm message from a faraway friend, a normal call from a long lost treasured friend, a cup of bubble tea shared with dear buddy, or juz a simple hug?

谢谢你们一直陪在我左右..朋友是一辈子的~

Summer, 一路平安...

These days!

haha..holidays finally started~ Well...had quite a happy mood for this holiday..hmm...received the econs test result last Friday, and its a pretty gd score~ haha..so finally found sum confidence in doing econs! and Mrs Chua told me tt econs H3 will start in term 3, and whether can get it or not depends lots on mid-yr results! ...so better prepare to read lots of econs and memorize them during the holidays, and do well in mid-yr~

and last Sat. went to watch Pirates~ A super cool movie! and quite long as well....haha, but its nice!! although the ending is quite sad, but I think its e best than any other endings that I can think of...well... shared lots of things with M.Y., haha...like this sentence a lot -- "Things will work out somehow", yup yup...dare to face any difficulties, coz no matter what happens, things will only become better and better as long as we ourselves dont give up in the first place!~ haha.. how is the book? interesting to read rite rite?

and this Sun.... was the zao bao outing! wow! Swensen's food is nice! haha! saw lots of frendz...My dear buddy X.P., haha...she was now quite under stress, yeah lor..."O" level mah...haha..but dont worry lah...U surely can make it de!!! hehe, also mix w other frendz...C.Q., Q.T., N.S...and Z.N. as well...hmm...he was late for the lunch..so by the time he came, we were already finished ordering...hehe, so he looked a bit isolated...well...then he juz talked to me as per normal, like juz anyhow said sth. abt life and things, talked abt things which make him very bu shuang....hehe, so seems that things are getting better...

then after the lunch, the other frenz wanna go to Esplanade and walk!! haha...I din feel like going there loh......so C.Q., Z.N., and I went to Suntec, and wandered around...well, Z.N. walked on my left side, C.Q. on my right side...so on my left hand side, is my previous best friend, then on my rite side, is my current good friend..what a wierd combination!! then these 2 guys like dint talk to each other too much...then I felt like we three are like a "burger", and I was in the middle!! don noe which side to talk lah~ so I juz kept silent, gave them the sense tt I was kinda shopping around~ later C.Q. need to go back home liao..then juz b4 he went away, he told me to talk with Z.N. more lah, coz its the only way that we can solve all those probs...then I said I will try...then after C.Q. went away, we wanna go back as well....so on the way back, Z.N. like never stopped talking loh, talked abt his councillor life, talked abt his coming camp, his trip back to China...and his new frenz also~ well...He did say tt he got new frenz in sch., and I said thats good, at least he was not alone loh...

so in this whole conversation, I was juz like a listener...then in the end, finally I got some chance to say sth. lah...then tried to talk abt the prob btw the two of us, and wanna hear his reply...but but... don noe why...I didnt say tt out..juz afraid tt after I talked abt this, the atmosphere would change! so in the end, I still didnt say anything....but at least I felt better, at least I had the sense tt..hmm..well, although no sms, no calls, no replies etc....but when we meet, Z.N. still wanna share things w me...and this made me feel that I still hav a great meaning for him..well, thats gd enuf, isnt it??

haha..hmm...still feel that there are sum gaps in btw..but but...frendz are frendz, and things will finally work out~

gonna pack things tmw...U.S...I am looking forward to this trip!

Soccer + Friends + Movie

[OUR SOCCER TEAM! We were singing the sch. anthem 2gether!!]

Well..yesterday was a fun day~ hehe..in the afternoon went to watch soccer: VJ -- SAJC, for 3rd and 4th places. hehe...I believe tt this match was actually our soccer boys' best performance!! Not bad not bad 2 --1..Justin & Redzuan, Good Try!!! hmm... I only started to watch every soccer match this yr, 2gether with Han Xiao jie... and I found tt after so many matches, I juz unconsciously developed a strong sense of being proud of VJ soccer, no matter whats the result of the game~ they tried their best, and they deserved the loudest cheer...well...not only cheer, but also all the other things!! don noe how 2 say..its juz I am sooooo proud of being an Victorian! Victoria we give to u the honour that you claim!!

this yr, we didnt win the champion..but..but...next yr!! next yr, the champion will be ours!!

hmm....saw Z.N., cheering as a councillor for rj's soccer finals..hehe...wat s surprise?? rj was the champion!! its their first time to be in the semi-finals as well as in the finals...well, Z.N. saw me, and said "hello" to me...and that was the only word he said!! hehe..despite the happiness over the coming holidays, I always feel depressed these days whenever I think of Z.N.... hmm...2day talked w han xiao jie abt this..she said tt...well....if we are really gd frendz, we wont juz be separated by all the distance...and if we are really best frendz...Z.N. wont do this to me, for reason being he is sooooo busy....hehe...I am still thinking abt it...well... maybe its time for both of us to relax and find sum way out...hmm....and I am not the type of person which will only live depend on any single person..and I have other gd frendz as well!!! hehe, its juz a matter of time...and I think maybe he needs to think abt it and at least say sth. more to make me never feel depressed again...should give him this trust!

Don wanna talk abt this troublesome thing any more!! Holidays are coming!!! I can feel it!!
so yesterday after i came back...called my parents, told me abt the U.S. trip, oh yah..forgot to mention, my U.S. visa is finally done! Hooray!! and juz after all these things...I wanna watch movies! haha..thanks to T.L., who helped me burn the CD of The Pursuit of Happiness...!! .so I juz watched tt! its really touching!! and my heart feel warm!!

hmm....juz rmbr one sentence in the movie, saying sth. like we wont get happiness if we dont in the first place start to PURSUE it....whenever the case, juz dont give up.. hehe..a nice movie to watch!! and I will surely watch it again and again whenever I feel sad...

so this Friday is for shopping!!, Sat. will watch Pirates!!!, woohoo!!! Sun. is for the zao bao thingy, and will go out with C.Q. and Q.T. 4 sum outing, should meet all my frenz b4 I go 4 the U.S. trip, so tt I wont miss them so much! hmm...not sure whether to meet Z.N. or not...anyways...dont wanna talk abt him lah...then next Monday and Tuesday...should pack my things, and maybe manage my notes...they are so messed up rite now!! well...juz hope tt b4 I go, everything will look very organized...so tt after I come back, I will be able to return to my right mood...

sigh...whenever I think of mid-yr exams, I am so scared...don noe whether can meet my targets or not..but I will try it~

haha...began to use Friendster yesterday! wow! quite cool~

so week 10 is going to end very very very soon... lets count down it..and get ready for the holidays!

有些故事,还没讲完,那就算了吧.
那些心情,在岁月中,已经难辨真假.

well...

hmm...2day woke up at 6 a.m.!! then went to Toa Payoh sports hall for the Lian He Zao Bao national table tennis competition...I am kind of one of the organizers there..and I am the usher I/C..well, this is not an easy task...so many VIPs! but luckily I did it quite well~ Our editor in charge wanna thank all the exco members for putting so many efforts in making this event succesful...so she will give all of us a treat next Sun...woohoo! not bad not bad...

hehe...met many many frenz 2day...and all of them chatted w me, and I soon found out tt chatting makes me feel relieved! hehe...C.Q. is really a nice friend, 2day originally I was quite quiet, actually didnt feel like talking...but later he sat by my side, and told me tt if I didnt take the initiative to talk, I wouldnt help myself get out of all the bad things! hehe...so I listened to his advice, and started to smile and mix with all the new frenz...then felt really refreshed!

well...after the event has ended, things started to become a bit worse...hmm..how 2 say....Z.N. was really tired, and I really don noe why...he looked very angry and disappointed, I wanna talk with him and give him sum encouragement..but Z.N.'s face told me tt he might be juz angry at me!! or am I over-sensitive again???? hehe..but I really don noe wats going wrong! hmm..well... maybe he is sooo busy...and anything unhappy will make him feel very depressed..maybe?? I am not tt sure..sigh... why is there always sth. wrong??? well.. I treat him as my best best best friend, feel like calling him whenever I feel sad..but things gradually changed since this yr...hmm..juz feel tt he is so obsessed w all the councillor stuff tt he don have any time to talk or encourage others, even his best friends lol....or maybe I am juz one of his good friendz, and he needs to be fair... hehe...anyways... no matter wat happens btw the two of us, one thing for sure~ Z.N. is still my gd friend, and I need to understand him b4 I demand him to understand me...for the sake of friendship, I should put others b4 me...and think abt what they will be thinking, instead of being sooo selfish...

things will work out somehow...its juz a matter of time~

hmm...yesterdays chatted w M.Y abt the things happening around us these days...seems that he is also quite disappointed abt those unhappy things lol....well...prehaps, a leader is different from a member mostly by the fact tt he needs to take more responsibility..sometimes normal ppl are not tt responsible for wat they have said...and this maybe a great hurt to the others as well~ but but....great leadership wont be so easy to build up, it takes time...and maybe some euduring experiences as well~ all these are the process of learning...well...u didnt do anything wrong, maybe next time when its urgent to make decision, juz try to think abt others a bit more, maybe explain to them as well...and the things will be more smooth~ haha...

hmm..juz came back from the call... C.Q. called me, saying tt he felt there was a "cold war" btw Z.N. and I.. haha...feel touching!! he told me not to worry....friendship wont be such a weak thing to break down....haha...yup yup..feel so warm after hearing all these...!!

whats the meaning of friendship? its juz to have someone listen to u by ur side, and let u noe tt you are not alone...haha, so three cheers, three cheers, and three cheers for FRIENDSHIP!

so here is all the emo changes of mine for 2day...well....not tt drastic, but I think 2day's experience really made me more mature~

Stronger than yesterday~

soccer match

well..hmm...yesterday afternoon, VJ soccer played w RJ soccer in the semi-finals...and after 90 + 20 mins...we ended up with 1:1...then in the penalty round...we lost....

I kept praying during e penalty round..and every time our soccer player standed on the field and prepared to kick the ball...I really dared not to open my eyes! I don want my bad luck to affect any of the team members...hehe, but still no use...in the end VJ soccer had no chance to be in the final round...and I juz kept crying and crying...luckily han xiao jie is with me, she hugged me! but later both of us juz couldnt control ourselves....then we cried 2gether...

Once a Vicotirian, Always a Victorian!!
hehe..then han xiao jie and me went to bugis, shopping! I bought a new pencil case, a new wallet, some stuff for my trip etc....don noe why...I juz realized that when I feel sad or upset, spending money is gd thing to cheer myself up! the feeling is...well....painful but cool!

hmm...Havent recovered from the sad things yet...juz heard from last Chinese soc exco members saying tt...the positions were pre-decided already...so in this sense the "speech" is juz a li xing gong shi, no matter what the results show, the final decision wont change....this is...this is....TOTALLY no sense!...well.... I previously liked this CCA coz I can always find frenz in common, and I feel like as long as I am in Chinese society, I will feel the sense of HOME....its different from my real home, which is so far away from Singapore, this is what I found I belong to.....but after all these, I suddenly realized that this sense is no longer with me....I don feel like contributing any more, I feel that no matter what I do, I will be ignored, or even be hated by someone else coz they believe that they can replace me and do it!

nvm nvm.... I think I should really consider all my gd frenz's suggestions..haha, thank you M.Y., H.X., X.J., C.Q., and Han Xiao jie....without all of you, I will juz hide in a corner and dare not to stand out again...yup yup, life is full of ups and downs...but life is life, it still goes on... and we will only live once...so try not to live on the past...but look ahead!

To vj soccer players: I am so pround of you all! Really really well done! We truly deserve e champion, but at times life may be unfair....you all are always the heroes in our hearts! and we will bring back the champion one day!!

To all ppl who care abt me and whom I care abt: really thank all of you for always supporting me! Don worry abt me le, I am not the one who can be easily da bai...any difficulties are juz the beginnings of another huge success! Lets all strive 2gether! u noe...its all ur encouragements that make me feel I am important to you all as well!

To me: I remembered one sentence from Spiderman III which I think I will remember it for ever...---- "Its the choices that define who are we, and we can always choose to do the right thing"...well, its time to make the correct choice...and I will continue doing the right thing! that is...to discover my full potential...and do sth. for others, help them...and pursuing my own happiness..

well...quite late liao.. cya!

It hurts

I didnt get it... the vice precident chosen was not any one among the 8 nominees...what a huge "SURPRISE"???

I really don noe what is happening 2day...everything run so smoothly..both my juniors and seniors were cheering for me! and I was soooo confident....

well...juz like last time the SYF thing...the more hope I have, the more depressed I will later become...

never mind lah... at least I tried my best.........

but it hurts!!! it badly hurts!!!!!!! and feeling soooo empty in my heart...
its not sad, its not disapplinted...its juz empty...

considering changing some of my charactors....I think there muz be sth. wrong with myself...I can not be soooo confident! I don have anything to make me proud of myself..

these days!

haha..received comments for GPP from Miss Ding yesterday..its our first draft! and Miss Ding said that so far our group has the best GPP draft!! haha!!! she said the draft is very well organized, and focused as well! and with clear objectives and aims to achieve, and detailed explanations and description! there would be some minor refinement to make our events more creative! yup yup...not bad not bad! we are on the right track~

so yesterday immediately after sch., han xiao and I went to watch Spider Man III at Marina Square! woohoo! Finally! We planned it for so long..and finally we watched it and felt so satisfied!...some frenz said its not that good, while others recommended me to watch the movie, haha..but I would only comment on it after I watched it! and the conclusion is ....the movie is real nice!! I like the storyline a lot..Actually I don like to watch action movies, coz I juz don like to see ppl fight with each other, and in the end, always be the same result...but I found this storyline good, coz the fightings are not that long, and different ppl, separate stories gradually combined 2gether, clearer and clearer, and finally the greatest strike! Cool!! Then han xiao jie and I went shopping! haha

so next week I will start working as an EXCO member: Awareness and Welfare Education officer for PAWS..haha...so exciting abt that!

hmm...actually now I am juz typing at the com lab, and waiting for giving a speech later...I am running for the vice precident for Chinese Society...hehe, 8 ppl competed for the same position, so competitive! but maybe this is the right environment, coz it helps me realize I need to do sth. innovative, and I must let the voters trust me and vote me in! anyways...no matter the results, as long as I try my best, i wont regret...life is full of challenges...haha, happiness and sadness 2gether...but what matters is I keep pursuing happiness~

yesterday when He Xuan tried to encourage me, and wished me all the best for 2day's speech..she told me sth. which I never realized..haha, she said that "you noe, Jin Zheng! there is a particular charactor which makes us love you! You always make people who talk with or work with you feel that they are important...and this feeling is not fake u know, this is ur true charactor...you make us feel we are important, and we trust u! and u are always a great friend to talk with! We trust you already, so now you must trust yourself! Go for it!"

haha...that was really touching! All the best for me! and Good luck as well!

Week 9 is going to end! woohoo!
Pirates will be shown on 24th of May...and will watch it soon! and Silicon Valley trip is not far away either! haha, in my life there are always good things to expect!

abt the econs test...

nvm lah...the more I read the notes, the more headache I will have!!! The notes are juz disgusting!!!! ahh... I really don wanna screw up my econs test this time again!!! but seems hopeless!!! okies...lemme juz tell myself tt...after tt 45 mins, I will be back to normal again....

I juz wanna do H3 in econs, I must like it!!! Someone save me... I really wanna do well in econs, really really...

hehe..things happning ..hmm, yesterday..haha, yup...received a call from Bryan! haha..he is really nice!! he said tt the exco election results for PAWS out already...two people who run for presidents, one is the president, the other is the vice...(I was running for vice president, so this means I am not the one lar)..then I started to feel sad already, plus his tone is also a bit emo...haha, then he later tole me tt "Jin Zheng, are you alone? or r u with ur frenz?" then I started to think...what kind of qn was he asking!! then I juz said "u juz told me what you wanna say lar..."..then he started his long long stories: "hmm..for the 6 positions, I am so sori tt you are not in any of them...its really sad, but we must do according to the votes..the two girls won the top two votes, so must give them the pres and the vice pre....hehe, so this is the bad new lah...but but I have another gd news to tell u...haha, since all of us think that you are so capable..haha, so we create a new exco position for you...then this position is called Welfare I/C..haha, so surprised???" wat de....haha, he told me the bad news first, then prepared me for a big surprise!!! haha...

don noe what 2 say already...haha, but but... its really happy to be an exco member, then I can contribute more and more...muz make PAWS a better then ever CCA in VJ's history!!!

hehe..then treated Z.N. sushi dinner at....cant rmbr the place already..hehe, food not that nice, but we enjoyed the conversation, later Z.N. passed me the money, then I juz took it!!!! haha..its money!!! especially now I am quite short of money lol... but...on the way back, he wanted the money back!!! then this is where the fun came in!! haha, ... Z.N.'s logic make me feel a bit guilty to take his money, but my stand wont move!! I will not return the money back to him!!!!

haha..the conversation and all the arguments that we both raised are really fun!! and this is really a time when I didnt think of my foot pain and enjoyed walking!

hehe..started to think abt all my friends leaving for China during the June break...then I will be the only one that is left..SAD!!!
haha..but luckily still got frenz to study with me!! haha..mugging for a few days for being a gd studnet? Sure thing!! No prob!

2 mores weeks to go!

video changed!

well..juz came back from Chinese Drama Nite rehearsal..!!

Later 2day at 7:30 p.m. will be the actual performance ..

hehe..I actually didnt do lots of things..except composing a song for this performance, and this song will be played at the end..haha, not bad not bad..

Foot becomes better..not painful already, but juz looks very serious...I am thinking of seeing the doc again, and ask for some excused from P.E....coz don think I can do running next week...

changed the video on my blog already...this time is the ..haha..nice music to listen... and nice MV to watch as well~

!

hmm...these days quite unlucky....

Left foot twisted last Sunday..then at that night went to Changi Hospital to take X-ray..luckily its not a fracture! so can still walk..

hehe....got 5 day MC for this...but no use! coz 2day I need to go 2 sch. to set down our grp's GPP..then need to do research abt EOM, since the hostel's network seems to spoil again..tmw still need to go to sch for Chem SPA...ahh...then Thursday, is Chinese Drama Nite's final rehearsal!! so still need to be present....so Friday is the day that is left only..but Friday evening is the Drama Nite...so seems tt this 5-day MC is not fully utilized..

nvm nvm.... I will surely be able to survive de..

hehe...received my Econs test assignment juz now...and I didnt pass!!! hehe...Mrs Chua saw my facial expression...and said that in JC life..failing is very very very common!! hehe.... but its really quite...don noe what 2 say...ahh... I helped Lin Ying w her assignment, and she got 17/25, but I failed! How to explain this!! unbelievable..

hmm.. remember what Han xiao jie has told me:" In JC, there will always be things that are unexpected....what u need to do is to feel easy abt yourself..then you will soon become much better! "

haha...despite the fact that so far i can only walk w one foot, everything else is fine...jiayous!
2.6 more weeks to endure~

Hmm...

2day woke up at 10 plus..then started doing hw...hehe.... set a timeline for myself, and did according to it...and found out tt it was soo efficient...

hmm..lemme see....finish my thermochem tutorials, maths transformation of graphs extra practices, physics oscillation qns up to Q6...then finally finished reading econs notes...but need to reread tmw...

very sleepy in e afternoon...so slept from 1500 until 1900...I wonder how I could sleep 4 so long!! after tt..wanna start writing my article abt the interview w jie ru, then if can finish early, I would do my research on EOM....but later found out tt this plan was unrealistic...coz after bathing... I talked w mum thru Skype, later talked w Joel and Umesh abt GPP...seems tt they were quite confused w the tasks delegated....then after all these, it was 10 p.m. plus already...so finally I started writing the essay...ahh...so difficult to write!

haha...so now is 1:25 a.m. ..but I am not sleepy at all...is it becoz I slept too much in e afternoon? I don noe..but one thing for sure...that is I finished writing my article and sent to my editor already!! maybe next week my article would get published..then I would get $30 for tt...then I could use the money to watch movies!! woohoo... Spiderman III and Pirates of Carribean.. (hope the spelling is correct).. I am looking forward 2 these two movies!

Juz realized tt my U.S. Silicon Valley trip is juz 25 days away!! haha...cant wait to go for the trip!! Disneyland, Apple, Google, Intel, Microsoft, Stamford, California Berkeley..haha!!!! So many things 2 expect.!! and so much preparation to do! but nvm.... all the expectations will be worthwhile!!

hmm..come back to the reality....next week will be the toughest!! Chinese drama nite is on Friday..SPA on Wed. , econs test on Thurs. and plus GPP & EOM due on Wed...but its okay, its all rite..one thing for sure, that is I surely won die, and I will be able to survive!! haha... after next week, my sky will be full of sunshine!! haha.. movies, outings, shoppings...

later will go out w Z.N. to study Econs...haha, gonna make a big mindmap for Market Struture..Many ppl say tt chapter is very difficult..but juz lemme try..and I will learn tt well!



received a cute photo of myself from X.J...haha, she took it long long time ago, and sent to me 2day...hmm... sometimes photos may not be gd representations of myself lol..coz the girl in tt photo looks very sweet.... but I think I am not... >.<...

Things are going fast again...

hmm...after all the drama preparations..I actually had a real break for one day...slept for 5-6 hours..hehe, so now feel quite refreshed and energetic again...although there are so many things to do!! Econs test next Thursday(must read notes once again), 4 sets of Physics and Chemistry tutorials by next Tuesday, and sum more maths tutorials, physics and chem SPA next week!!! ...and the most terrible thing: need to do GPP and EOM for PW!! ahh....okies..next Wed. is the deadline..and our grp finally made the decision of what event to organize juz now...hehe, so feel less nervous already... tmw need to go to Sandra's house to finish the GPP, so tt after this, our grp members can start to do EOM...juz hope tt everything will be fine..and hopefully I will be able to do all the tutorials and finish revisions...although I think I don have enuf time..

hehe...C.Q. is having mid-yr exams...hehe, sec 4 students...busy busy! haha.. but u surely can do it lar!!! all the best! Z.N. is still struggling btw school work and student council's staff.. Must Take care and don worry abt me le...I am fine!! X.J. is recovering already...yesterday when I saw her, I felt tt she became much much better...hmm..there are always some failurs in life..but whats important is to look ahead..coz there are more things to expect!!

Seems tt M.Y. is quite upset abt the tests and all the work...hehe, whenever we wanna give up..juz endure some more time and we would feel tt every difficulty that we once encountered was actually not tt difficult and tedious...haha, after all these, I am sure u will have the determination to do well in ur mid-yrs!! Self-esteem!

haha... talked w han xiaojie already...we 2 will go and watch Spiderman III after Chinese drama nite ends!! she is also very happy abt tt!! haha..wo men shi hao jie mei!!

Jiayouz for all my gd frenz!! Week 7 finally ended!!

For the Sake of Friendship

things tt happened yesterday:

didnt sleep thruout the whole nite...havent recovered from the hurt...hehe, prepare 4 so long..but the results turned to be sad....

hmm... 2day quite tired due to lack of sleep...but slept 4 hrs in the evening..so feeling much better now~ The only pity was I didnt manage to watch Spiderman III...and also I couldnt make Z.N. get rid of his terrible situation, abt being over-irritated by receiving 100 plus calls and numerous really disgusting sms from a single person...How can this guy do this?? is it disturbing Z.N. all the time really makes u happy??? sigh....feeling so helpless.. >.<

BUT BUT BUT...Everything will be fine... as long as we don give up! hehe, I noe this might be a very weak argument...

tmw gonna interview Jie Ru abt her wushu...
3 more weeks to go...

All the best to all my frenz! :D

Well...its over

this is sad!! Prepared 4 so long...everything turns out to be perfect!! except the results...

Now every one is very sad...and how to cheer them up? I am sad and disappointed also... helpless! Don want 2 face anyone...If there is anything unhappy happening in our drama grp, I will always be the one tt makes everybody recover soon..but... now everybody is facing the same prob...how to pursuade myself to go out of this sadness, when I am deeply sad and feeling so empty inside my heart?

How to tell QT, CQ, ZN etc...abt this? They will surely ask de... then han xiao jie, hehe...we were so confident, and we even planned to where and when to watch Spider Man 3 2gether after all this, and planned how to celebrate our winnings...everything seems to be no use already..

the piano version of Ju Hua Tai....hehe, juz rite to fit the mood.... Learning to play it now...maybe can play in sch. next week..

Bad Day... Fake a Smile or Juz Look Sad....????

happy? happy!!

hehe... last Sunday is the zaoao 10th exco investiture....I am in the exco again!! haha..from 9th to the 10th..hmm.... I like it, i like it, i like it! haha.. Ni shuai, CQ etc...all these friends are from zaobao, and so lucky tt I became noe them and make best friends with them!!

After the investiture, we all went for exco outing....then we juz wandered around at the Toa Payoh bus exchange..then finally decide to eat at KFC....wat de....but at least we have all the friends around..then I ate 2gether w zhe nan...and told him all my 不爽 towards him last time when we made calls..hehe, talk talk and talk, never give him a change 2 explain!! am I too evil?????? haha...then he firstly felt very blur..then...haha...forget wat he said already, but its sth. which makes me feel relieved again..hehe, best friends may sometimes hurt each other also, but wats important...is to calm down and erase all these unhappiness openly~ then I went w him to his hostel, anyways..it is shun lu de....and then my director called me to rush back to my hostel to practice drama..haha, then seemed tt I need to take a taxi and go back..but I don have money!!! seriously...short of money these days! then zhe nan lent me money, and haha..thats more than enuf!!

my director said I improved a lot and a lot these days..this really makes me very happy..is it becoz I can no longer to go to zao bao everyday for the investiture rehearsal, so I can become more concentrated in this SYF thing? I don noe...but one thing for sure..I still have the spirit to fight on!

later last nite CQ also sent sms to me to encourage me to fight on...and..haha, really...always feel touched abt all his attempts! best friends!

then juz now when I checked my mail box, I received email from MY abt his PI..haha, after I read thru the thing, feel tt this time the draft is much much better..or is it becoz some of the draft were editted by me? Am I over self-esteem again?? hehe..don noe...later we chatted thru MSN, haha...and got nice music to share!! hmm...all the best for all our future tests!!!

hehe...forgot to mention han xiao jie..haha, really...she is now the person who I wanna approach whenever I feel happy or sad....haha, sometimes juz a hug will do! Thx a lot!!!!

juz have a feeling tt all my friends are around me again!! hehe...Aries is like this lol...very easy to get down and become sad...but its also fast for Aries to become happy! and FRIENDS is the most important element...I still believe this!

Thoughts for these days: Never Give Up! These would always be hope!! A ZA A ZA FIGHTING!

All the best for my SYF Chinese drama central judging this coming Sat.!

!

These days, no internet access in hostel!!! ahh....havent contacted mum for soo long~ yesterday was the Chinese Curretn Affairs Competition... Our drama grp was supposed to act b4 the final round started, juz as some kind of relaxation..then juz after tt, our director said tt actually we had lots of probs -- the actors couldnt speak out loudly, and the audience couldnt hear clearly, so they were confused, then they said tt we were acting so fast, so at times they couldnt catch up w the plots...sigh... prepare for so long, and the response is still like this... and the director talked to me personally, saying very very seriously tt if i still couldnt raise my voice, the whole grp would suffer juz becoz of me, saying tt we prepare everyday juz to win the gold w honour prize, she doesnt want any one to act wrongly...by the time I heard this, I felt very very sad, and quite depressed...really...so many things to do, I am really tired...how could u expect someone who is extremely tired to stand up and be soooo active?? .. and I noe I have this problem of speaking out loudly, but could u pls juz kindly kindly talk abt this instead of scolding me?? I will definitely improve on my own and become better and better....I juz need some encouragement...
then later she also sent sms to me to reemphasize this...that was e time I broke down...

Crying and crying...but luckily han xiao later found me and listened to all my sad stories..then she tried to encourage me and tell me all the gd things that was going to happen soon~ then in the evening...trying to call ZN to talk abt things happening around me these days, juz like the way we usually did in the past..hehe, every week surely called each other to seek encouragement..but we only talked abt 10 secs...he said he was doing GPP for PW, then he was talking w me in ENGLISH!! ahh...this is not the way we used to do...really felt sad..didnt feel the sense of friendship at all.. hehe, maybe he was tooo busy...and maybe yesterday was not the right time to call him and let him listen to my stories...but...luckily, later I called CQ, then he was really..haha, very good at making others happy.. he kept singing qi li xiang, although a bit out of tune, its still very nice! he told me to take care, and face all the difficulties and challenges, coz "after all the cloudness, or rainy days, tmw will be full of sunshine~!" and really.. I felt much much better...

Thoughts of e day: Although we couldnt really depend absolutely on anybody to pursue happiness....they could help u a lot....or sadly speaking, they wont be free to listen to you...but what is important... is to have someone beside u when you need some encouragement. and FRIENDS, thank you~!

Thinking of talking to ZN this Friday abt how sad I felt after the short conversation w him? this is not they way we used to do.. There must be sth. wrong...

Cya!

is it TRUE?????

Your Love Number is 3
You're confident and charming, which makes you able to keep your relationships fresh.A true perfectionist, you give your all (and then some!) to your sweetie.Honest, funny, and kind... you are the ideal lover for many.Just don't let your jealousy get the best of you!

p.s. these days keep receving friends' messages saying "Add Oil!!" to me...does it mean "jia you"...is it common 4 ppl to use this phrase? omg..seems tt I am so out of fashion...!!!

Haha...These days were really busy...but luckily I had many returns which I believe was becoz of all my hardwork...actually I don see any direct link btw my active involvement in CCAs and any rewards of my academic work...but maybe these 2 are related somehow...and I am very suprise w tt!
woohoo!!! My first time to pass my GP essay since JC life started!!! My mark was usually abt 22 or 23,hehe...but this time!!! it is 14 + 11..and it is 25!!! haha...total mark is 50, fail content section by 1 mark, but pass language section by 1 mark, so overall...I pass!!!!!! haha, feel so excited and happy!! maybe this mark is sth. not very nice to show for others... but for me its different...coz I confess tt my English skill is not very good, and for me to pass GP juz for my 2nd essay is really a reward for me lol...I really don noe whether all the readings of TIME or Straits Times were useful or not, but....hehe, I really think tt this is a great..and a dramatic improvement of me, and I noe tt there is a lot more room 4 improvement later on...so my next aim of GP: hahahahaha... hope I can get C plus for my future essays.. Oh yeah...the comprehension paper is also quite difficult for me, so juz do my best, and see what I can get for my mid-yr exam...hope I can pass as well!!! must set low standard initially, and achieve aims step by step!!! haha.... there is a long way to go, but it is not without any hope~

Chinese Drama still preparing.. hehe, I improved a lot on my acting, and this time I was acting a woman who was 48, and hasnt married yet... haha, and ppl said tt I was more and more like her charactor lol..juz hope tt after all this competition and the concert thingy, I could naturally go back to my own charactor...haha, muz change back soon!! Do hope tt my drama will win sth. for the SYF competition, it is really huge efforts...we practice everyday untill 11p.m....everyday after I went back, I really felt tired...but still had the spirit to revise all the new things learnt, and finish tutorials on time...hehe, my time management skills thus improved a lot...and I do appreciate whatever I am doing now..yup yup... "ONCE IN A LIFETIME" should treasure everything, coz they are of the best values at the present...and juz keep telling myself tt I will always have some returns after all this hardwork...

hehe..sign.... PI needs to redo...my chosen person was not significant enuf!!! ahhh....but its ok lar...still have some time to catch up, and have some ideas already...so juz relax, and I believe tt I can do it!!

Preparing a bday gift for my friend..hehe, great minds think alike...

Some thoughts for these days: When God closes one door for you here, he would surely open another window for you somewhere else.....and as long as we don give up, when there is will, there is hope!

p.s.: although tired, I feel tt it is really refreshing after I wrote all these things out...haha, feel the spirit to fight on again! Cya!

Fun!

haha, my 3rd time of logging into my blog!! hahaz... not bad not bad..

2day go class outing..woohoo! 07s48 ROX!

We first went to east coast to ride bike!! haha..but e thing is...I don noe how 2 cycle!!! luckily got all my nice classmates, they taught me how to do it, then i juz kept trying and trying...finally I could cycle for some distance, but not balanced yet!! I think I juz need more practice and never give up!! haha..yup yup, very happy.... never believe tt I would be able to learn how to cycle b4, but actually I did it!! juz in half an hour...will practice more these days, hopefully I will finally do it by June Holidays...so tt during the holidays, can go out and play, and listen to my music..and feel the sea breeze!! woohoo! so cool!!!

then we went to Sandra's house and BBQ...haha, I almost spent the whole evening playing cards, n...quite lazy lol...never went to the BBQ pit and do sth. for others... hehe, so next time really need to be more considerate to others' feelings, and try to be a better person!!

I really like my class! although not enough girls..hehe, but still very fun!! I like all my classmates, we take care of each other! haha..hmm....abt the angel and mortal game, hehe...although Joel never wrote to me...hehe, I still gave him a little gift.....n guess tt Sandra is my angel,haha..hope she likes the mug that I gave her!!

Its realy fun to have my classmates around..I noe tt the following days may be tough and busy..and hectic also!! but lets juz do our best and see wat we can achieve!! I do believe tt this process will make us feel fulfilled already!!

juz never give up...and appreciate what we have...and life is like this lol!! in order not to regret, must treasure every moment from now on!

p.s.: these days, when I was down, and no one was around me... I really felt quite lonely..but I later found out tt juz becoz nobody was by your side doesnt mean you are not important...there will be some one who treats you as a mental support...hehe... thank you, Cheng qing.. you are really a very good friend 2 me, and hope we can remain good good friends, and BEST friends for a long time to come!! and also thank you for telling me some of your stories, and also for your great understanding~ haha.. I am always crazy abt doing things, and haha.. yup, sometimes I need someone to talk to, then I will calm down..
p.s.: feel better now after this terrible flu..and hope I will be alright next week~

Yup yup....let me introduce my favourite Japanese anime: The Fruits Basket!!!

It is realy a nice story...I was shocked by its creative beginning, followed by its touching storyline...hehe, its about a girl and a huge family consists of 12 Chinese zodiac..haha, really interesting...and hmm... I learnt a lot of things from this anime..about how to look at ppl and find out their true happiness, and how to listen to others' problems and solve them! hmm...also about how to be a more mature person, and never give up!!

This anime inspires a lot of ppl to move on...and this is really the nicest anime I have ever watched...(btw, I don watch anime often, plus I am too busy to watch)...but, but...if I have time, I will watch this again and again..

and the music is also very nice...although I don understand the lyrics...

the only lyric tt I can undrestand is...: Let's stay 2gether..isumo... and "isumo" in Japanese means "forever"...

p.s.: I have all the episodes for Fruits Basket...so anyone who wants 2 watch it, can juz look 4 me!

So far, the only RPG I enjoyed playing a lot is the , I like it becoz it is a nice
and touching stody, I like it becoz I learn a lot of thingys from this fantastic storyline..

The Miracle Fomula is also adopted from this game..and I plus another factor to be in: that is the power
to believe in yourself..

Having a flu these days, and whenever I feel down, I always remind myself of this fomula...this really helps
me a lot~

SPORTS DAY

hehe...finally I made it!! I could relog into my blog!!!

Yesterday was fun!! haha..Lynx was the 3rd best...not bad not bad..lots of ppl said tt lynx was always the last two houses, so this year not bad!! haha... coz we are so cheerful mah...so our enthusiasm deserves some reward...

Plenty of work to do... Lots of tutorials, and PW..and next week must start studying for econs n chem tests in Week 5....hehe, sometimes I don wanna do tutorials, coz I feel tt the tutorial lesson is ok for me to catch up..but I noe this is..juz not good 2 do...I need some revision of the new topics learnt, and I think doing tutorials is the best way to revise all the thingys! So I will not let my spirit down...I always believe tt although our time is limited, but we can always find some way to improveour time management skills...yup yup, human potential is unlimitied!!...sometimes I need to try my best to see how far I can go....but...but...yes yes, must have other things to enrich my life tho... CCAs, charity...or juz go out with frenz can make me feel happy already...pursuit of happiness!! yup yup...hehe...

may be a true mugger in the coming weeks... term 2 is always the busiest and craziest, but it is also the most enjoyable week...lots of performances and sports...juz hope tt everything is fine, and also hope I will finally be able to make it!!

Don noe when will be the next time tt I can log in to this site...but...anyways... I still like this blog!!

tmw morning is another time for mugging..and in the afternoon, wil be the zaobao usual meeting...hooray! cheer for myself!! Being busy is sooo....self-fulfilled!!

p.s.: Yan zi's new Album is fantastic.... I like the song...

I am here...

hehe..not bad... to sign up for a blog is sooo fast...

still considering whether to use it or not...